everyone is single if you try hard enough
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
