Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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