we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
