Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
