You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
