i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
