their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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