mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize