Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
