Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
