he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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