She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
stop calling my apartment porn island.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
