her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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