winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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