let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Everclear isn't food dammit
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
