I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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