Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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