I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
