If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
