Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
only you would photoshop your dick
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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