Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Man, jail baloney is awful.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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