Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just had sex on a roof
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
