I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
