you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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