holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize