I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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