Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
