Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
