hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
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