Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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