At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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