guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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