i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize