I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
