If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Randomize
