I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
