I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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