I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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