She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Randomize
