roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The dick lei will go down in squad history
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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