Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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