I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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