Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
you never un-have a 4some
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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