Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i will never coherently bang her
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
