woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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