When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
