Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
