Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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