Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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