so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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