I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
