Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
