guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize