I must be too annoying 4 u.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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