your thong is hanging out like whoa
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
