Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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