so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
