She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
