The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
