The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize