Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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