ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i love accidental penises.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
